Have you ever heard someone say, “you make me emote?” Probably not, but I’ll bet you have heard something like, “you make me angry,” or “he is boring.” Now, I realize that emote usually refers to acting, or at least, that is how I am used to using it. On the other hand, “emote,” the root word of emotion, seems like an appropriate way to collectively express all of the words that are used for our “mental (emotional) feelings.” I’m referring to words like anger, love, boredom, fear, joy, etc., where the feeling we have is mental instead of physical.
I heard someone say recently that a person was boring. The person was boring because he explained something “like a college professor.” Well, what does that mean? If I am listening to an explanation given by a college professor and am bored, then who is responsible for me being bored? Am I responsible for my emotion or is the college professor? Really, how can someone make another bored? On a related topic, I remember when I was a teenager and my dad (I wrote about my dad in a previous posting) would say things that would “make me angry.” I would tell him how I felt and he would simply say, “get over it.” At the time, it seemed like an impossible task. I thought he was just “putting me off” and not addressing the real problem of, “him making me angry.” Of course, I now realize that he didn’t make me angry, but instead, I made me angry. I own the problem of my anger and I should not put the blame on anyone but me.
There are times when I am able to build a barrier that shields me from negative feelings. In fact, I was eventually able to do that with my dad. When he would do something that would normally “make me angry,” I was able to build a barrier in my mind that kept those negative “vibes” he was giving, from “causing” me to be angry. Now, of course, it was me, just controlling my own emotions. I didn’t literally build a barrier; I just took charge of my own thinking!
It is common for children to blame how they feel on others. It is also common, for adults to say something, such as, “you make me happy.” Now, I realize when someone says, “you make me happy,” s/he might think the happiness is the direct result of her/his positive relationship with the other person. The emotion of joy is mentally felt because of the thinking of the person who is feeling it. Of course, we are not going to express ourselves in that manner, but we should be careful about what we say. I think when a person constantly says something such as, “you make me mad,” that a form of rote learning occurs. In other words, your words become your thinking.
You make me emote – NO!
I make you emote – NO!
You make you emote – YES!
I make me emote – YES!
Do you have an emotional comment? :-)