What makes you feel good? Who makes you feel good? Do you have any control over whether or not you feel good? I think these are all good questions and the answers to them can be revealing about whether or not a person is in charge of her/his own happiness.
Think of a time in which you felt good. Who was in control of what made you feel good? Was it you that made you feel good? Or, perhaps, you think that feeling good is something that just happens to you. Is it? If that’s true, then shouldn’t we all just sit and wait for good feelings? And, when you are feeling bad, shouldn’t you just sit and wait for it to pass? Don’t take a pain-killer for pain, just wait for it to pass. Don’t put on warmer clothes when you’re cold, just wait for it to get warm. Now, from my point of view, that kind of thinking is unrealistic.
So, is feeling good something that just happens to you? I don’t think so. I think we all need to make ourselves feel good. Please don’t assume that I’m advocating the consumption of alcohol, drugs, dangerous living, etc. as a way to feel good. Instead, I’m proposing that we make a plan for feeling good. Yes, I’m advocating planning, goal-setting and visualization for feeling good. In other words, a “pleasure-plan.”:-)
Suppose you make a plan to feel good. What would the plan look like? Would it be a long list? Perhaps, it would be something that allows you four hours of uninterrupted listening of music. How about watching a special movie or cooking a special meal? Of course, you might make an elaborate plan which includes all of what was mentioned before. I’m sure each of us could create a refined plan for pleasure.
Creating the plan might be the easiest part. Actually, following through with the plan could be the most difficult part. You see, many of us feel guilty if we prioritize our schedule in such a way that we put our personal pleasure plan first. It seems to me, in today’s society, a plan that emphasizes personal pleasure is considered selfish and egotistical. Having stated that, what or who should be in charge of your happiness?
It is possible that once in a while, feeling good will just happen to you with no planning. But, usually, if we want to feel good, we will have to do some planning. For example, if you like to travel and that makes you feel good, then you will most likely have to make travel plans. Or, if you enjoy listening to live classical music, then you will have to research where, when and how to attend a live performance. The point is that pleasure-plan is a natural and meaningful compound word!
Another reasonable possibility for your pleasure plan is to create an idea that improves something you are already doing and enjoy. We usually have to plan in order to feel good, so why not consciously make regular plans to do so? It would be a positive act of taking charge of our happiness and our lives.
Who should be in charge of your happiness? YOU!