When You Commit, Are You Giving Or Receiving?
What do you do when you commit (pledge or obligate yourself) to something? Do you give only “lip service” when you commit? Do you “talk the talk, but not ‘walk the walk’?” What does making a commitment mean? From your point of view, does making a commitment really matter? The previous questions are all focused on commitment. If you choose to honestly answer the questions, then they can provide some insight into your point of view regarding the act of committing.
I think we all have a deep need to be involved with others — indeed, a need to be involved in the world. The proof of this fundamental human need is constantly demonstrated by history. Consider how we humans have populated the earth, or how we explore/investigate every aspect of life. Or, consider how we continually invent ways to be connected, from beating a drum to beating the virtual keyboard on our iPhones. Another example is how we went from posting pictures on cave walls to now, posting pictures on the internet. The point is we, as a human race, want to be involved in our world.
We also show our need to be involved by our desire for social and/or close relationships. We want “what we do,” to count for something. We want to feel valuable in life. We want to feel connected in a way that we are important to the connection. An outstanding example of this is today’s use of social media and networking.
So, what do all of these wants and/or needs have to do with commitment? Well, the commitments we make are often the results of wants and needs. In fact, I think we usually commit ourself to something that starts in our mind as a want/need. I know you might be saying to yourself that you commit to many things that you do not desire or want.
Perhaps, when you commit, desire or want may not seem to you, “on the surface,” to be the reason. Having stated that, I really believe when you look deeper into your thinking, the reason is, indeed, a desire or want. For example, consider a father who is committed to taking his children to an amusement park. He may take them, not because, on the surface, he wants to, but because he thinks that such a family outing would be a desirable thing for the family. Since he thinks it is good for the family, then he wants and/or desires it.
Commitment is a need or desire that we must enter into a relationship with! When we make a commitment, we should never count on gaining anymore than we are willing to put into it. Actually, we should make a commitment without hoping to gain anything.
Commitments are actions of giving and not necessarily, receiving. What we gain from commitments is often less than or equal to what we are willing to put into them.
Deep commitments, like marriage, allow us to discover who we are as individuals. From our deep commitments, we grow to our fullest. It’s our deep commitments where we give freely to others. For example, consider how freely a committed teacher gives to her/his students. Commitment is not just a matter of thinking and speaking. Commitment is something you must do in the present. When you are truly committed, you are forced to be “present in the present!” It is something of which you must not only, “talk the talk,” but also, “walk the walk!”
So, when we commit, are we giving or receiving? If we are serious about our commitment(s), then we are giving and doing so, freely and presently. I hope you are committed, freely and presently, to giving a comment. :-)