Have you ever taken a course in school that was designed to help you learn about relationships? Maybe you did, but I think most people haven’t. Are you happy with your relationships? I think most would say they are not as happy as they would like to be. Are your relationships important to you? I think most people would say they are.
Of course, my answers to the previous paragraph’s questions may not be appropriate for you. You may not be able to imagine being happier than you are with your current relationships. On the other hand, if you wait for a little while, most likely you will reach a state of mind where you’re not quite as happy as you would like to be. So, what do you do to learn more about something. Many of us take a course in school. But, it is seldom that you will find a course offered that is designed to help you learn more about relationships. The point is, you normally can’t count on taking a course in school to help you become happier in your relationships.
Many of my friends, when asked about whether or not they feel happy and fulfilled in their present relationships, respond with statements like, “I guess I am,” or “We have our ups and downs, but overall, pretty good!” Very few people who I know answer with something like this straight forward response: “Absolutely, couldn’t be more happy or fulfilled.”
When I encounter the “less than happy” responses, I often think about an adage that I have used often, “The journey is more important than the destination.“ I think of this adage because of the apparent manner in which these “less than happy people” are going through life. They are viewing their relationships as a less than enjoyable journey that has a destination of happiness. The relationship is the journey and the destination is (?.) I put a question mark at the end of the previous sentence because, frankly, I see the destination of the relationship to be never-ending. Oh, of course, a relationship might become stronger or weaker over time, but there is no reason to believe that the ultimate destination of a relationship is happiness. Happiness in a relationship isn’t a “place to reach” or a destination, but instead, it is a state of being during a journey. Again, it’s the journey that’s more important! :-)
So, are you happy in your present relationship? If you’re not, who is responsible for you not being happy? YOU!
If your relationship is a “so-so” relationship that seems to be getting worse instead of better, then change it. How? By changing your point of view regarding the relationship.
What I mean by a relation, as used in this post is: the state of being mutually or reciprocally interested OR a way in which two or more people are associated. Therefore, a relationship is: a state of affairs existing between those having relations. If you aren’t happy with a present relationship, then you’re not happy with a state of affairs existing between you and those you are having these relations with. The one person you have control over in the relationship is you. So, who is the one person who makes the changes so you are happier in your present relationship? You guessed it – YOU!
Relationships are nothing more or nothing less than the result of what the people in them say, write, feel, think and/or do. If you want to be happier in your relationships, then ask yourself this question: “How does what I do help make my relationships happier?” Perhaps, you’ll discover that you are making them “unhappier!” Well, if that’s the case, then you know one person who owns the problem. YOU!
How about a comment to help make our relationship happier? :-)